Saturday, July 30, 2011

change is good, right??

I felt this spring this was going to be my year! I felt in my heart something about 2011 was going to be special, different, and that CHANGE was coming for my life.

If you haven't noticed, its almost August and the only change I have felt was the heat.......... and ya know, I was really frustrated this change had not happened yet to me or Project Viatu.  Then I heard the Lord say to me, "simplify your life to hear my voice and in doing I will prepare you for what Project Viatu will become". Cool. WHAT? I'm a stay at home mother, my hubs and I have one car, I don't have much of a life to simplify Lord! I also learned you shouldn't second guess God when He tells you something..probably not the best idea :)

I realized after "mourning-the- loss-of-my-past-life-that-never-happened" episode, even though Christ has 'something' for us sometimes we have to except and initiate that change.  We have to be the do-er to get the good change happening.  Through simplifying my life, my heart, and spiritual life it has opened the door for good things to happen and good change to take place.

A sermon my father-in-law wrote last April was titled this, " Good Things Are Happening"  He said there are 3 problems with good.

Problem #1. Good is misunderstood. God wants our circumstances to be changed and he wants us to be blessed!

"What God does to you, he does in you, THROUGH you and FOR you." -Craig McLeod

Problem #2. Good causes conflict.  Good created you for invading darkness, God takes on darkness and dispels it.

problem #3  Good is not popular.  "People thrive in conflict, don't get comfortable with and in your inner pain" ohh Lord.. say that one again! :)

"The greatest blessing is what God does in us and taking that blessing to others and letting it come through us" Craig McLeod

Now, that is good!! And yes, good things are happening!

side note: Isn't my father in law awesome?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Africa Calling

An aching heart,  my joy and appetite gone, burdened for the lost life that I was suppose to live out, I write this entry knowing that Africa is still calling my name.

Yesterday and today I had a heart wrenching conversation with a dear friend.  I let go of emotions and feelings I had been keeping tucked deep down in my heart for over four years.   I finally brought them to the forefront of my mind and heart.  Most importantly, I finally brought them to God-Just to think my heavenly father was probably waiting on me to do this for years now.

Out of confusion and frustration I made many decisions in life that was not God's will for me.  Thankfully, Gods mercy's are new everyday and Africa is STILL calling out my name.  Want to know the horrible thing about not doing what God wants you to do?  It not only hurts you, but it hurts other people and in my case, who knows the people I could have helped if I would have just stopped and done what God had asked me to.  

What is remarkable is that God doesn't ever push us to do His will.  We have to decide.  And today I have decided to never turn back when I hear the Lord calling out my name...I choose not to turn back when I feel the holy spirit telling me to change.

The most beautiful thing is that God still has a calling for my life.  Even though I screwed up in the past and chose a much more difficult path, He still has chosen to lead me back to my calling to Kenya.  

Now, I begin my new journey. I now mourn the loss of my life that was never to be lived because of the decisions I made and I look to the future with my life in tow.  And what a beautiful life it will be because of God's grace.  Join me in this journey..

"The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together.  The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road.  The life maps of God are right, showing the way to joy.  The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes."  Message translation of Psalm 19