Friday, March 9, 2012

Bloody and Bruised

Lately, I have been thinking about how we are all God's children, how we were all once babies, someones sweet miracle, or someones surprise!  We all have moms that birthed us into this world. Whether they wanted us or not, God longed for our tiny hearts the moment it started beating.

When I see homeless people I think, "That is God's CHILD! That man or woman was once someones precious bundle of joy. That stinky, drunk person was someones perfect joy."

Today I heard the dogs barking outside, it was one of those 'something is going on barks', so I rushed to the kitchen window to see very bloodied and hysterical woman in the street.  Two men in a large truck with a work trailer were just stepping out of the car.  I first thought this woman had been hit by a car! I instantly started seeking the Lord in prayer and rushed outside! I heard the woman's words as she was weeping and in pain, she said, "He has been beating me all day! I got away this time! Is he coming back??He's been beating me for years!"  Her eye was round and swollen, bloodshot and purple.  Her mouth dripping like a bloody red faucet, and the skin on her inside lip tattered and torn,  her teeth were cracked, she was dirty, and I could smell the strong stench of alcohol.

James 2 says, "Mercy triumphs judgement"

I ran inside and intentionally fetched a burp cloth because it was made of heavy, soft cotton.

As I grabbed the burp cloth from the closet, I put it back thinking, "WAIT! This is Ian's burp cloth, in fact its the nice kind! And it was my little brothers so, it has so many dear memories...I should get an old rag instead."  After that thought I picked back up the burp cloth.  That burp cloth has nurtured babies and gently wiped the milk off their lips for 6 years. Is this soft cotton not appropriate to also wipe the blood off a needy child of God's lips too? Certainly not.

 I rinsed it through cold water and rushed back outside, shaking from sadness and sorrow I put my arm around this beaten lady and whispered, "Lord Jesus, father be with her."

Blood was everywhere.

The first thought that came to my head was this woman is Gods precious child who is hurting, in despair, and need of comfort.

Every time she tried to talk blood would spew from her mouth and she would mix words of remorse...fear...pain...sorrow...second chances long gone...

It broke my heart. 

To me the definition of a mother is to nurture, restore, comfort, provide, and  a safe harbor.  Has God not called us to be mothers to the world as ambassadors of His message?  After all, we are all God's children. We are all brother and sisters in Christ.

Hopefully this woman will be okay. I don't mean okay as in her physical wounds, but her heart wounds.  I pray somehow she will find God's love and cling to it- for He restores, nurtures, provides, and is a safe harbor.

"But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?"
1 John 3:17

Monday, March 5, 2012

Transformation into forgiveness and freedom

I feel as though the Lord has completely transformed my heart and lit a fire of extravagant love for him in my life. Its been awhile since I've felt this way, and how I have missed this feeling of totally and completely falling in love with God and his goodness.  A couple months ago, I felt God calling me to leave the church I went to :( and calling me to go to Believers Church.  And honestly, I didn't want to do it; nor did I see the point.  After two weeks of wrestling with this choice I started going to Believers.  My family has been going to this church since I was about 12 years old or so.  After my first year of ORU, I went there every Sunday. I stopped going because I felt judged for the decisions I had been making in my life. Which in all honesty, I doubt anyone was actually judging me :) It reminds me of the story about the prodigal son.  He ran away from home, left the graces of God and his family behind and didn't look back. Then one day, he decided to come home and beg his father to let him work for him.  I'm sure he felt he would be rejected, judged, and condemned for his lifestyle and mistakes, but that is not what happened.  His father accepted him with open arms and had missed him, welcomed him home!  I have truly learned that our heavenly father is always waiting on my with open arms when I totally screw up.  God says, "My child I have truly missed you! Welcome home! I'm sad you left!"  All of that to say, I feel that in going BACK to Believers God is bringing me FULL circle from where I left off five years ago when I got back from Kenya.  

Back to my thought of being on fire for God....

I fully believe in the forgiveness of Christ and I believe that whatever you do if you seek God's heart and forgiveness- YOU GOT IT!  I have always, always felt this way, but I believe I have just now stepped into full forgiveness for being like the prodigal son. And in forgiveness there is freedom! Freedom to worship whole heartedly!  Freedom from worry and stress, from fear of abandonment and loss.  There is nothing comparable to being in the Holy Spirit's presence feeling totally forgiven and free!

What an intense time of preparation for God's calling on my life. I cannot even begin to explain and I wish I could! But God is about to do something great! 

Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness