I feel as though the Lord has completely transformed my heart and lit a fire of extravagant love for him in my life. Its been awhile since I've felt this way, and how I have missed this feeling of totally and completely falling in love with God and his goodness. A couple months ago, I felt God calling me to leave the church I went to :( and calling me to go to Believers Church. And honestly, I didn't want to do it; nor did I see the point. After two weeks of wrestling with this choice I started going to Believers. My family has been going to this church since I was about 12 years old or so. After my first year of ORU, I went there every Sunday. I stopped going because I felt judged for the decisions I had been making in my life. Which in all honesty, I doubt anyone was actually judging me :) It reminds me of the story about the prodigal son. He ran away from home, left the graces of God and his family behind and didn't look back. Then one day, he decided to come home and beg his father to let him work for him. I'm sure he felt he would be rejected, judged, and condemned for his lifestyle and mistakes, but that is not what happened. His father accepted him with open arms and had missed him, welcomed him home! I have truly learned that our heavenly father is always waiting on my with open arms when I totally screw up. God says, "My child I have truly missed you! Welcome home! I'm sad you left!" All of that to say, I feel that in going BACK to Believers God is bringing me FULL circle from where I left off five years ago when I got back from Kenya.
Back to my thought of being on fire for God....
I fully believe in the forgiveness of Christ and I believe that whatever you do if you seek God's heart and forgiveness- YOU GOT IT! I have always, always felt this way, but I believe I have just now stepped into full forgiveness for being like the prodigal son. And in forgiveness there is freedom! Freedom to worship whole heartedly! Freedom from worry and stress, from fear of abandonment and loss. There is nothing comparable to being in the Holy Spirit's presence feeling totally forgiven and free!
What an intense time of preparation for God's calling on my life. I cannot even begin to explain and I wish I could! But God is about to do something great!
Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness