Saturday, November 29, 2014

When Life Doesn't Go the Way You Think It Will.....

What do you do when life goes in the total opposite direction of what you planned?

My whole teen to adult life I've prayed, "God, your will not mine."  I did this over and over and over again.

I surrendered my life to God and have said, 'Go ahead! Take it!! Do what YOU please! Take me where you want!!"

Yet, in my mind I had already planned it out.  What do you do when life doesn't go the way you think it should have gone?




Eastern Europe....

Dreams. Places. Distant spaces.

Tulsa was never the dream.  

The past few months one of my prayers has been that the lord would help me to impact His kingdom. I've been praying for more oil. So much oil that it would spill over wherever I am!

God, how and where and with whom can my life impact the kingdom of God to bring in light? How can I host the presence of God?

God, how can my marriage impact the kingdom of God?  I believe God has a plan for my marriage and my marriage relationship that will be impacting on the kingdom of God.  I believe I am with Jordan because we will strategically make an impact for God.  I believe this was God's plan all along even though I did not see it!

I want to be so in love and in touch with God that I don't care about my plans!  I want to be so in love with God that my plans don't matter anymore, but that God's plans would infuse my heart and journey desires. 

I read these words from Oswald Chambers yesterday in my devotional time.

 "...remember that He doesn't work in commonsense ways, but only in supernatural ways."

"Detach me, O Lord, from the things of sense and time, and usher me into the presence of the King.  Keep the precincts of my mind and heart entirely Yours."

Although, I do not understand what God is doing or why things happened in my life, I want God to be the center.  I place trust in Him and speak out trust even though life can be messy and confusing.

Isaiah 50:4 says, "The sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort the weary.  Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will."

I have a feeling that if I would have planned life according to the way I wanted it, my life won't reach the people God has called me to reach.  Even though I don't understand, I have to trust Jesus!

Romans 5: 3-5 says, " We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they will help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."  

2 Timothy 4:17-18 says, " But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear...  yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever. Amen!"

1 Peter 5:10-11 "In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, he will place you on a firm foundation.  All power to him forever!"

I am learning  His ways are truly higher than my ways.  His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.  In Isaiah 55:8, it says that the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.

Sometimes I don't understand the path I am on, but I understand that God does and that is enough. It's a beautiful journey.

             Nehemiah 8:10 "Do not grieve, for            the joy of the Lord is your strength.

So, what do I do when I see life going another way than what I planned? 

I worship (and dance like no other) and spend time in God's presence! It's the best.  I get to know papa's heart so that I can be aligned with his plan for my life.  

There is a harvest that is coming and I want to jump on board! I'm trusting God. My life is really not my own, I give it to you lord to do as you please.  

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Lesson of the Day

Getting offended can hinder the 
call of God on my life. 

"Forget the former things; no not dwell on the past.  See I am doing a new thing!  Not it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-20

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink..." Romans 12:20

"Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another.  Instead make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister." Romans 14:13

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 2:19

"...make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong,  but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continuously, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ."  1 Thessalonians 4: 15-18

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy without holiness no on will see the Lord.  See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."  Hebrew 12: 14-15

"Whoever would foster love covers an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9

"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense" Proverbs 19:11

Monday, March 24, 2014

Birthing the Miraculous

On January 6th, I watched a documentary, Compelled by Love, about Heidi Baker, an extreme lover of God and missionary in Mozambique.  I believe me watching this documentary was not by accident.  Before I go on, watch the trailer for the film.

This film inspired me to be a yielded, radical lover of Jesus.  I watched Compelled by Love on my iPhone in Ian's room while he was playing.  After awhile he said, "momma what are you watching?" I told him it was about this woman who loved God so much that she is a missionary in Africa! A missionary is someone who tells others about God's love for them and that Jesus died for them.  Ian, I want to do that, too!" I told Ian about how God uses Heidi and people in Mozambique to heal others. I told him that we, too, can do that! I told him how we just need to ask God to come live inside us and live for him.

Ian said,

"I want God to send Jesus to earth to heal people."

"I want to help Jesus heal people."

Then he said quietly, "God, come live inside me."

Then he whispered very softly, "God give me a dream." Looked at me and said, "I just tell him that!"

Let me tell you, God is about to do something in my family.  I really believe it and I wanted to write this blog post that I can look back and remember this.  I really feel this year is going to be different.  I believe that God is going to do some things that will propel my family into its calling.

Three weeks ago, I realized Heidi Baker has written books. I got so excited I knew I was suppose to order one! I prayed about it and felt the spirit leading me to buy her most recent book, Birthing the Miraculous.  I read it in two weeks and I have not read a book that quickly since before Ian was born. but I stayed up many nights reading Birthing the Miraculous and I believe this book was written for me to read.

Let me share some parts of the book:

"What does it mean to be overshadowed in the secret place? What does it mean to be overtaken and fully possessed by the Holy Spirit? What does it mean to dive deeper into the river flowing from God's heart? It means our life is not our own. It means we no longer exist for our own desire but His. Nothing is impossible in a life that is utterly yielded to Him...He is inviting us to dive deeper into the river of His presence so we can experience true life."

"I believe the Lord is calling us to a lifestyle of laid-down love that goes beyond waist-deep in the river.  It is a permanent lifestyle of 'lower still'. It is a call to dive into a love that is limitless, ceaseless, and bottomless- a call to relinquish control."

"It is when you become immersed in the love of the Father that you truly begin to love like Jesus."

"And God wants to take control us beyond what we can control.  He wants to take us to a place where we can be moved in any direction purely by the flow of His presence."

"I want to be fully immersed in the Holy Spirit.  I want to be completely covered until no one will see me, but only Christ in me."

"I feel that the Lord is inviting us into a place we have been afraid to live in- the supernatural realm of His kingdom, where His manifest presence surrounds and holds us like water in the ocean's depths.

"His river flows through us as a consequence of the intimate love found in the secret place.  We have to enter this river for ourselves in order to get the life that is found there.  Once we are immersed in His river, life will also follow us wherever we go- even into the darkest of places."

"Fruitfulness if birthed from love.  Bearing fruit is a delight, but it is not the final goal.  Intimacy with God must be our purpose. If we pursue Him above all else, fruit simple happens."

"Abundant fruit is the result of surrender, and any life that is laid down for the sake of love is a ministry life."

"We must remain in him at all costs.  The means yielding to Him when he speaks and obeying him.  It also means learning to rest in him."

"The Lord looks across the earth for sons and daughters willing to be fully possessed.  The lord looks for a resting place.  Will it be you?"

"The transition has come and it is time for God's promises to be born in our lives.  It is time to bear the most precious of fruits...God is ready and eager to perform miracles of supernatural swiftness on behalf of His children. On this very day He is even more eager than we are to see all of us coming together into the fullness of our destinies.  He loves for us to grow up into the fullness of His Son-Jesus Christ." 

Saturday, March 1, 2014

To Be Methodist or Not To Be Methodist?

The past month has been a whirlwind of the Lord opening doors and bringing opportunities into my life.

My most recent prayers have been that God would use me to impact people! Another lingering prayer of mine for the past 4 or so years has been for God to use my ability of singing and playing the piano for Him.

About a month and a half ago, I felt the Holy Spirit say to visit Christ United Methodist Church.  I thought, "God, did you know that I'm not methodist? Remember you called me to be at Believer's Church? Why would I change churches?! Why would I go to a methodist church?"

I did not listen and I did not visit Christ United Methodist.  I went on my way and I stayed in my comfort place of my church, with people I know, and the worship that I love.

Two weeks after that, I went to Christ United to fill out paperwork to be a fill in worker for church events.  My co worker works in the nursery at Christ United so this was my connection.  During this time of filling out paper work and touring the children's ministry, I met with the director so she would know my face for when I would sub.  

Before the tour, the Children's director for the church said, "I don't know why I'm telling you this, but we need a Children's leader for the 5th and 6th grade program.  You are exactly what we are looking for and it would be a miracle for this person to be sitting in my office within the next couple months."

During this conversation is when I remembered the lord had beaconed me to visit this church I was now sitting in.

Before I knew it, my heart had been completely melted as I walked into the 5th and 6th grade room. As I looked at the pictures of the 5/6th graders I held back tears and I felt the Holy Spirit melting my heart for these kiddos!!

I thought, "LORD NO!! I love my church! I'm not a methodist...I'm a CHARISMATIC believer!" I quickly learned I need to stop judging other denominations.  Just love people.  God calls us to love people.

I just cannot say no to God.  And I have learned to say I am sorry to God.  It's funny, after years of praying on my face prayers of God "use me", I said no and questioned Gods judgement of calling me to a methodist church. Is Jesus concerned about whether I am labeled Methodist or non denominational?

This church is such an awesome place and I feel so blessed that God has called me to be apart of it!

I have learned that I cannot say no to God!!

On my way to church on this Wednesday, I was talking with the Lord and asking him to use the gift of playing the piano and singing.  And on the way home from church another co worker called me and asked if I would lead worship for their brand new church.

I cannot say no to God.  

Tomorrow I will start leading worship for Living Word of Grace.  I'll do it for as long as God says to and I'm thankful for this opportunity.


With this said, when I started my second job at Christ Church I also had a massive wave of spiritual warfare.  This hit me through depression and anxiety.  After about three days this began to lift. Praise God!

Friday, February 21, 2014

"He who has an ear, let him hear"

The past few months have continued to be a very interesting journey of faith and trust in where God is leading and stretching me as a grateful believer in Christ.

"He who has an ear...let him hear..." Revelation 2:29

I am still overcoming fear and recently I have been overcoming the gripping fear of not having enough money.  I thought I was well over learning that God will always provide, but this past week has proved that thought wrong.

I believe the Lord has placed me in a position to fully depend on him (for food, shelter, rent, gas, toilet paper...) What a privileged it is to experience the Lord providing the basics of life!! And this is for a divine reason!  The past few years the Lord is changing me and teaching me to love and trust in him fully so that I will be prepared for the path he has set me on.

I have been gripped with fear of tithing because we barely have it to give.  I have been so wrong in this thinking..

About 4 years ago, the Lord spoke to me and said, "I'm changing you to become who you are suppose to be."  And the journey continues. I welcome it with open arms!! No matter how hard, Lord, I open myself to your will for my life.  I am so in love with you, abba. Paul says in Philippians 3:8, "everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Jesus Christ may lord."

"He who has an ear, let him hear what the spirit says to the churches.  To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna..." Revelation 2:17

"To him who overcomes and does my will to the end,  I will give authority over the nations." Revelation 2:26

"Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God.  Never again will he leave it." Revelation 2:12

"He who has an ear, let him hear what the spirit says to the churches" Revelation 2:29