My whole teen to adult life I've prayed, "God, your will not mine." I did this over and over and over again.
I surrendered my life to God and have said, 'Go ahead! Take it!! Do what YOU please! Take me where you want!!"
Yet, in my mind I had already planned it out. What do you do when life doesn't go the way you think it should have gone?
Dreams. Places. Distant spaces.
Tulsa was never the dream.
The past few months one of my prayers has been that the lord would help me to impact His kingdom. I've been praying for more oil. So much oil that it would spill over wherever I am!
God, how and where and with whom can my life impact the kingdom of God to bring in light? How can I host the presence of God?
God, how can my marriage impact the kingdom of God? I believe God has a plan for my marriage and my marriage relationship that will be impacting on the kingdom of God. I believe I am with Jordan because we will strategically make an impact for God. I believe this was God's plan all along even though I did not see it!
I want to be so in love and in touch with God that I don't care about my plans! I want to be so in love with God that my plans don't matter anymore, but that God's plans would infuse my heart and journey desires.
I read these words from Oswald Chambers yesterday in my devotional time.
"...remember that He doesn't work in commonsense ways, but only in supernatural ways."
"Detach me, O Lord, from the things of sense and time, and usher me into the presence of the King. Keep the precincts of my mind and heart entirely Yours."
Although, I do not understand what God is doing or why things happened in my life, I want God to be the center. I place trust in Him and speak out trust even though life can be messy and confusing.
Isaiah 50:4 says, "The sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort the weary. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will."
I have a feeling that if I would have planned life according to the way I wanted it, my life won't reach the people God has called me to reach. Even though I don't understand, I have to trust Jesus!
Romans 5: 3-5 says, " We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they will help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."
2 Timothy 4:17-18 says, " But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear... yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever. Amen!"
1 Peter 5:10-11 "In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever!"
I am learning His ways are truly higher than my ways. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. In Isaiah 55:8, it says that the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.
Sometimes I don't understand the path I am on, but I understand that God does and that is enough. It's a beautiful journey.
Nehemiah 8:10 "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
So, what do I do when I see life going another way than what I planned?
I worship (and dance like no other) and spend time in God's presence! It's the best. I get to know papa's heart so that I can be aligned with his plan for my life.
There is a harvest that is coming and I want to jump on board! I'm trusting God. My life is really not my own, I give it to you lord to do as you please.